The Worst Video Game Movie Adaptations Ever Made
It is widely known that trying to translate a good game into a film usually doesn’t end up very well, but let’s see which are the Top 10 Worst Video Game Movie adaptations of all time!
10. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
The story (as any videogame fan will know) is about a female archaeologist, Lara Croft, who goes in search of ancient artifact of power, fighting and killing many baddies in the process. There are many decent action scenes, but the dialogue always falls flat.
Although this movie is arguably the “less terrible film” on this list (mainly because ultra-hottie actress Angelina Jolie is on it) the unbelievable story and poor acting really screwed up the film. Not even Angelina Jolie could save this movie, although it did perform well at the box office.
9. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
As as an animation movie, Final Fantasy: the Spirits Within holds up very well even today, with some beautiful graphics and some breathtaking scenes. The problem was that this film doesn’t have absolutely anything to do with Final fantasy, an epic fantasy RPG which any self-respecting gamer has played at some point or another.
The story in Spirits Within is weak and the action scenes aren’t as good as they should be, so you are left with just a decent movie if you are a Final Fantasy/animation fan and one of the worst video game movie adaptations ever made if you are just an average cinephile.
8. Resident Evil
The Resident Evil film borrows elements from the video games Resident Evil 1 and Resident Evil 2, following the story of amnesiac heroine Alice (Milla Jovovich) and a group from Umbrella Corporation as they attempt to stop an outbreak of the T-virus at a secret underground facility.
The film is entertaining to a point, especially if you are a fan of the games (and it follows the original story quite faithfully!), but the subpar acting, lack of any small talk (characters only give and receive commands mostly) and generally weak plot really marr the experience. Excellent games usually don’t translate well into films due to the fact that the spectator can’t “play the movie”, and this is a good example of it.
The movie adapation of the famous “assasination simulator” videogame has just one problem: it’s completely mundane.
This film is exactly like hundreds of other mediocre action films. A badass bald assassin which was trained when he was a kid to be the perfect killer now needs to (guess what!) murder many important people (some from his past) including other former kid-assassin colleagues from his youth.
The actor playing Hitman delivers a wooden, terrible, emotionless interpretation. The actress plays the role of the typical not-so-bright girl very well, which is not a good sign. And you will forget the story just a few hours after seeing the film, trust me. Don’t waste your time on this, it’s really one of the worst video game movie adaptations ever made.
6. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Unlike the original Mortal Kombat which was actually decent, the sequel lacks any kind of coherent plot or decent acting. The story just doesn’t make much sense, and the only redeeming qualities are some cool action/death scenes.
Only watch it if you are a Mortal Kombat fanatic, and even then, beware, it could spoil your childhood memories!
5. Max Payne
The original Max Payne videogame is a true masterpiece, featuring a powerful and emotional story with “noir” elements, and it was also one of the first to introduce the famous “bullet time” gameplay element.
Unfortunately, the movie is extremely bad. The film revolves around revenge, centering on a policeman’s journey through New York City’s criminal underworld, as he investigates the deaths of his wife and child. The plot has little to do with the videogame, which certainly doesn’t help. A true disappointment.
4. House of the Dead
Oh yes, the House of the Dead, one of the crappiest films ever made. Directed by the legendary Uwe Boll (which is widely considered the worst director of all time), this time he really steps up his game.
The film features a previsible and boring plot in which the main characters must defend themselves from angry zombies. The acting is just terrible, but the thing that really makes you put your head away in shame is the inclusion of random House of the Dead (Arcade) shooting sequences inserted throughout the film, used in a pathetic attempt to make the film “closer” to the original videogame. Definitely a truly terrible video game film!
3. Street Fighter: The Movie
I have to say that this is actually my favourite film on this list! Even though objectively speaking it’s a terrible movie, it’s also very charismatic and has somehow achieved a cult status (one of those “it’s so bad that it’s good” movies).
The story follows a group of fighters lead by Guile (Jean-Claude Van Damme) to stop and defeat the megalomaniac M. Bison, and it consists mainly of a series of endless fights. Even so, the film is actually worth watching because of the 90’s nostalgia.
2. Alone in the Dark
Another gem made by Uwe Boll, the Alone in the Dark film follows Edward Carnby (Christian Slater) trying to uncover his mysterious pananormal past with the help of his ex-girlfriend (Tara Reid).
The main problems on this film are glaring plotholes, absolutely terrible special effects, and a ridiculous performance by Tara Reid. The result is a film that it’s actually hilarious to watch instead of being scary. A terrible video game film.
1. Super Mario Bros
The videogame based movie that started it all. As you would expect from a real-life Mario film, it features some creepy and surrealistic characters (including Goombas with a huge body and a gross mutant tiny head) and the main villain, a Koopa which has spikes as hair.
The movie is a total failure in just about everything, and the actor who gives life to Mario has regretted taking this role ever since. Still, it has a special “cheesiness” factor, some (unintendedly) scary moments, and even a Blade Runner atmosphere with dripping warp pipes.
You may want to give it a try, just to see the most terrible video game film ever made and also to have a good laugh!