One of the Portal games greatest strengths’ is the writing. In the first game, it was just the silent Chell against the insulting, deranged GLaDOS. While Portal 2 introduces new characters like Wheatly and Cave Johnson, that murderous AI still has her share of memorable quotes. Here are my favorite Portal 2 GLaDOS quotes.
“Freshening up the carbon dioxide”
In Chapter 2, GLaDOS informs Chell that’s not oxygen she’s breathing. Since the chamber is so far underground, it’s cheaper just to have the carbon dioxide recycled and freshened a bit. If the thought of breathing that doesn’t make you sick, nothing will.
“Look at you soaring through the air majestically…like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.”
GLaDOS constantly makes jabs at Chell’s weight in Portal 2. This quote comes from one of the first times the Faith Plate is used. She also blames a malfunctioning plate on the pounds Chell supposedly packed on when she was in stasis.
“If I’d know you’d let yourself get captured this easily, I’d have dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.”
After waking up GLaDOS, Chell and Wheatley are still trying to escape Aperture. Just when you think the exit is in sight, (it says emergency shut off and cake dispensary, how could that be wrong?) the door turns out to be a trap. GLaDOS laments about a more elaborate, unused trap and that you fell for such a stupid ploy.
“The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you, please hang up.”
Beside always having a witty insult for calling Chell fat, GLaDOS insinuates through the game that she’s an orphan. This quip happens as you complete one of the Light Bridge test chambers. Chell’s reward is GLaDOS placing a call to her “parents.” After the message, she comments that it’s “sad, but also impressive.”
“Maybe you can unstrap one of those long fall boots and shove me into it.”
Right after the infamous “I’m a potato” line, she contemplates her fate while falling. What’s worse then being turned into a potato? Wanting to be placed inside your worst enemy’s smelly boot in order to survive. GLaDOS also reminds Chell she would need to land on one foot.
“…keep in mind that like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you”
While explaining the importance of team work, GLaDOS throws in this gem of a quote. Does Einstein have a cousin Terry? It doesn’t matter because she’s right, history only knows of one. This quote pops up fairly early in the co-op campaign, assuring that it will be as amusing as the single player.
“You’re no longer bothering me. You’re only hurting my impression of you.”
Some of the funniest moments in the co-op happen when ATLAS and P-body are using gestures. Whether it’s high fives or dancing, GLaDOS is never amused by their goofing off. While she pretends not to be paying attention, she will keep scolding the robots for having fun and not testing.
The entire game is hilarious. There are many quotes, especially GLaDOS’ defense of Chell, that catch you off guard. Even if she spends a good part of the game as a potato trying to reclaim Aperture, Portal 2’s GLaDOS is just as entertaining as she was in the first one.
This post is part of the series: Best Portal 2 Quotes
One of the best aspects of the Portal 2 game is its writing. GLaDOS isn’t the only one talking anymore, thanks to Cave Johnson and Wheatley. These are the best quotes from these three Portal 2 characters.