Sex is Not for Video Games

Sex is Not for Video Games
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King and Queen of MT

We have all seen them. The women and men who repeatedly say inappropriate remarks in guild chat, or send messages that were meant to be tells, and then quickly reply MT. Of course this does sometimes happen, but we all know there are those that have so many mis-tells that it must be fake. Often these tells come from the women, but the men do it too. I have yet to decide if these are real women that are very much in need of attention or men who are pretending to be women to get free items from the men. I think the latter is a bit more disturbing, especially when it comes to cybering. For those men out there salivating over pixels, this is definitely something to ponder.

Embarrassing Situations

I have come across two extremely disturbing mis-tells in my gaming life, the first I think was meant to go to his wife, “I just wish sometimes

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you would lean over and _____ while I’m gaming.” I think you can all fill in the blanks there. The other was from the guild flirt. Every guild has one. The women who constantly let everyone know that they are a real woman, always have a sexual comment to make, call everyone hun and sweetie, and giggle a lot, as in /tee hee. The woman was virtually dating every officer. Being friends with a few of the officers, it was well known to me that she repeatedly cybered with many of them. TMI anyone? This was made worse by the fact that her real life boyfriend was in the guild as well, and that some of these men were married in real life and playing with their wives, too. Unfortunately, it became a well-known fact to the rest of the guild when in the middle of group chat she said, “I slowly move my tongue up and down your body. I shudder in anticipation of what you will do to me.” This is obviously why we weren’t getting any heals from her! She did of course apologize over and over, although I think she would have been better to play it off as a joke.

Gold Farming

Most gamers think of gold farmers as those groups of players with horrible names that run around killing everything in sight, and can’t speak English. Little do they know, that there is a much more sly and predatory gold farmer on the loose. In fact, this farmer is so devious that gamers won’t even realize that they’ve been hit. The term gold digger is actually more appropriate. Yes, I’m talking about that scantly clad night elf you’ve been taking on dungeon tours. She doesn’t want to meet up in real life and date you, and she has no interest in being your lover online. Heck, most likely she isn’t even a she. I have known a few males that have created female characters to flirt with male gamers to get money and gear. Once the heat gets too hot, they ditch the guy, and move on to the next, while using the extra cash to gear up their main.

Sell It and Collect the Cash

The next time you get that awesome piece of loot, get your self to the broker, sell it, and collect the cash. That alluring vixen you’ve been sucking up to, has five other paladins giving her the same item, all of which are on her ALT’s merchant. Don’t feel guilty when she /frowns at you. Keep an eye out and you will see her, /bats eyes, at the next guild member that logs in. She doesn’t need the item, and most likely she has more gold than you will ever have in your entire game career. If you must give the item away, give it to someone who truly needs it, and take into consideration if they would do the same for you.


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Let’s get real people. Sex is not for video games. While it is true you can find love and relationships in MMOs, it does not mean the intimate parts need to take place right online. Of course mis-tells do happen, but those of you who do it on purpose are annoying. We know who you are, and we don’t find it amusing. It is very inappropriate, and it could be a 12-year-old child on the other end. Not to mention that cybering with a married man, regardless if it is online, is still wrong. A home wrecker is a home wrecker, virtual or not. You want to cyber online, take it to IMs, leave it out of the game, or at the very least take it to your in-game house, lock the doors, and turn off all your other chat options. If gamers wanted to be involved in that type of behavior we would all hang out in Second Life or be waiting with anticipation for Playboy Manager. Oh, and guys, keep in mind that the sexy High Elf you are dating could very well be a man.

Do’s and Don’ts

Just in case you skimmed through, here are a few last do’s and don’ts for review:

  • Do post your picture in the guild forum picture thread.
  • Do not post pictures of yourself in lingerie or seductive poses.
  • Do use emotes to roleplay.
  • Do not use emotes to wiggle what you’ve got at everyone that crosses your path.
  • Do use voicechat.
  • Do not annoy everyone by giggling after every word, or to make incessant innuendos.
  • Do talk in guild and group chat.
  • Do not send accidental naughty messages to guild and group chat (trust us, no one thinks it is cute or funny).

Have fun when you play MMOs, get to know everyone, roleplay, and be friendly. That’s what gaming is all about. Well that and getting phat lewt. However, it is not a place to live out your secret fantasies with a hot wood elf, or knight in shining armor. If you do wish to get kinky with a Paladin, purchase a naughty elf costume, get dressed, pull your husband away from the monitor, and keep it in the bedroom. You just might find you don’t need MMOs anymore, and quite possibly save yourself a few thousand dollars on a divorce lawyer.