Duke Nukem Forever was supposed to shape the way video games were perceived by the world and bring something new to the table. It didn't quite live up to that hype, but it's still an Xbox game, so it still has achievements. Where there are achievements to be earned, there are guides!
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Achievements in this new Duke Nukem game, Duke Nukem Forever, cover a variety of challenges and try to force you to play the game with different weapons and on different difficulties. Each achievement is worth a small amount of points individually, and together they all add up to the grand total for Xbox games, 1000 gamerpoints.
Extermination - 25 G
Kill 50 aliens.
Trivially easy. There's no way you can play through the game without getting this achievement.
Annihilation - 40 G
Kill 100 aliens.
Also easy. 100 is only twice 50, and again it just means you're playing through the game normally.
Nuclear Devastation - 50 G
Kill 250 aliens.
Another easy one. The number is low enough that you still will have more than half the game left by the time you complete it.
Hippy-Stomper - 20 G
Foot-stomp 12 aliens.
Not to be confused with the kick execution, the foot stomp is when you walk up to and step on a small enemy, be it a rat, octo-baby or shrunken alien. Just use the shrink ray whenever you can and stomp on the enemies you shrink. To stomp, just run up to the shrunken enemy and look down while walking over them. You'll stomp automatically.
Judge, Jury, Executioner - 20 G
Execute 20 aliens.
Another easy one. Any time throughout the game when you deal almost enough damage to kill an alien, it will fall to its knees in a daze. Run up to it and press the button in the prompt and you'll brutally execute the alien. Note that this only works on the pig cop variations, not on the octos. 20 isn't too high a number so you should be able to complete it easily.
Trapper - 20 G
Kill 10 aliens with trip mines.
This one can be a little hard or a little easy depending on how often you remember you have mines and pipe bombs. It's easy enough on low difficulties to play the whole game without using them more than a couple of times, making the kill count difficult. However, it gets a lot easier once you find out that you can plant trip mines on enemies, where they will then explode. Take advantage of this to get your kills.
Freeze Well! - 20 G
Kill 15 frozen aliens.
The freeze ray is useful on it's own anyways, so you should get this just through gameplay. Use the freeze ray to completely freeze up an alien, then demolish it with a melee attack to save ammo. Repeat 15 times, and you're done.
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Even More Kill Achievements
The Duke is all about killing aliens and chewing bubble gum, and he's all out of gum. It stands to reason then, that most of his achievements are about killing aliens in a variety of ways. While there are some more out of the way achievements, which will be covered later, these main kill achievements make up the bulk of the gamerpoints available.
Road Rage - 20 G
Kill 15 aliens with the monster truck.
The monster truck segment is relatively long and drawn out, and there are plenty of aliens strewn along the path for you to run over. Just be sure to actually run them, and you should be able to get this one easily enough.
Fork the Pork - 10 G
Kill 6 aliens with the forklift.
This one is almost worryingly difficult to get, until you reach the right point in the game. Forklifts are not exactly prevalent gameplay elements, but when you do come across one, it's relatively easy to get the kills required. After all, the game does throw enemies at you over and over. Once you first see a forklift, it's easy to drive it through the six aliens nearby and get the kills you need.
Dead Useful - 15 G
Kill 10 aliens with environmental explosives.
This one is actually kind of difficult to get, simply because it's hard to focus on not killing aliens long enough to shoot barrels and other explosives laying around. Thankfully, there are enough laying around that it shouldn't be TOO hard to get. Just shoot barrels whenever you see aliens near them.
Downtown Barrel Beatdown - 15 G
Kill 10 aliens with tossed objects.
Given that in the early game your main weapons when you're low on ammo are barrels, weights and other environment objects, it's easy to get the ten kills you need. Just keep in mind it's easier to do this achievement early in the game when it only takes one thrown item to kill an alien, instead of later when they have heavier armor.
Duke Angry, Duke Smash! - 20 G
Kill 15 aliens with melee attacks while on steroids.
Just like berserk mode in Doom, your screen turns red and you run around punching things to death for a while once you take steroids. This is perhaps easiest done in the casino levels, where you get steroid refills more often. Just remember you have them and can use them!
On the Noggin - 25 G
Kill 30 aliens with headshots.
Easiest to do with a longer range weapon, like the rail gun, which is the closest thing to a sniper rifle the game has. Just focus on headshots when you can and have the leisure to do so, and you'll rack up the 30 you need.
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Some of the other, less violent achievements are here. Not everything is just about killing aliens in Duke Nukem Forever. Sometimes there are minigames to win, food to devour and other less savory things. Most of these will also happen as you progress through the game, but some of them you have to go out of your way to do.
Noms - 10 G
Eat 10 pieces of food in the single player campaign.
Food can be found scattered around, and also you can operate vending machines and get snack bars. Just grab ten of them and eat them, it won't take more than a minute.
Natural Disaster 3x
Kill 3 aliens at once
Just kidding, everything is about killing aliens. This one though is about killing them in style. Of course, given the sheer number of rocket launchers, devastators, pipe bombs, trip mines and exploding barrels around, it's hard not to do this at some point.
FBT - 10 G
Get knocked down 10 times.
Easy enough. Bosses and large enemies tend to have knockdown attacks, and the boss fights take long enough that you'll get knocked around quite a bit.
Turd Burglar - 10 G
Find and steal a piece of poo.
In a few different toilets around the game are pieces of poo. Just find one and fish it out of there. Unfortunately, the developers didn't make an ego penalty for doing it, like they wanted.
I Need a Towel - 10 G
Get hit by 10 pregnator bombs.
Pregnators are those small insect-like aliens that shoot white balls at you that explode on your screen when you're hit. There's enough of them scattered between the Hive and the Dam levels that unless you're supernaturally good at killing them and dodging their attacks, you should get this achievement.
Baron von Nukem - 20 G
Shoot down 20 alien fighters.
This can mostly be done in the fight early on where you control a turret. Focus on the fighters rather than the mothership right off. Who cares about Vegas being destroyed? You have to lead your targets a little to shoot them down before they fly past you.
I Need a Date - 5 G
Look at every page of a calendar in the single player campaign.
Check the various offices you pass through and eventually you'll find a calendar. Just interact with it enough and you'll flip the pages up and down. There's only three or four of them anyways.
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Item Use and Minigame Achievements
Some of the achievements in Duke Nukem Forever are more simple than others. For example, some of the achievements listed below simply require you to use items you have. Given that half of them are used in the tutorial, it works out to be easy gamerpoints.
Sticky Bomb Like You - 10 G
Put a trip mine on a live alien.
Simple to the max. Just toss a trip mine when you're near enough to a pig cop to land it. The pig will freak out for a few seconds before the mine explodes.
Big Guns, Big Ships - 10 G
Blow up five enemy gunships or dropships.
Another easy one to get in the earlier missions. Just use the turret you're spending time in, and shoot any alien ship that tries to land. You'll probably get this the same time you're getting the fighters one.
Air-Duke - 30 G
Win air hockey in the strip club with a score of 7-0
This one is complicated and difficult, for one reason. On a console, the controls for the air hockey are terrible. It's hard to get a good shot in, it's hard to aim to play defensively, and it's in general a poorly done minigame. At least they didn't program the AI to be much better than you are.
Balls of Steel - 25 G
Earn 1,000,000 points in pinball in the strip club in single player.
Another complicated and time-consuming achievement, probably not worth the mere 25 G it gives. You need to play virtual pinball, and hope you're good enough at it to rack up the points.
Flagon of Chuckles - 5 G
Drink a beer in Single Player
Easy. Just, you know, drink a beer. In single player.
Juiced - 5 G
Take steroids in Single Player.
Easy. Just, you know, take steroids. In single player.
He's Got a Hologram! - 5 G
Use a holoduke in Single Player
Easy. Just, you know, nevermind. You won't get a holoduke for a while in the game, but as long as you actually use it when you find it, there you go.
Drawrings - 10 G
Doodle something on the whiteboard in single player.
Even if you don't realize you can get this immediately, doodling on the battle plan, there are several other whiteboards in the game to doodle on when you find them. Despite all the destruction, they're fully stocked with markers.
Substance Abuser - 10 G
Drink beer while on steroids or vice versa in the single player campaign.
This one is ever so slightly more complex than the use single item variations. You need to make sure you have both a beer and steroids to use at the same time.
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The rest of the achievements, for the most part, are ones you get when you beat the game, for various reasons. Some will be discussed in more detail later, while others will be explained right here. Read on to fight out everything you need to know.
I Am All That Is Man - 40 G
Discover all ego cap rewards.
This one is complex. Check out the next page for a complete guide.
Gunsliger - 50 G
Carry the golden pistol through the whole game.
Easy, despite what it sounds. The first gun you get is a gold-plated pistol. Just make sure you never throw it away in favor of a different gun. Do it on your first playthrough and it'll serve you well. Thankfully, the pistol is a good weapon.
Piece of Cake, Let's Rock, Come Get Some, Damn I'm Good - 20/30/40/50 G
Complete the game on easy/normal/hard/insane difficulty.
Just what it sounds like. Complete it on a higher difficulty to unlock the lower achievements. Unfortunately, you can't enable any cheats and still get the achievement.
Special Thanks - 5 G
Watch the credits all the way through.
Just don't skip them. It's not like waiting another few minutes will kill you.
Bucket Head - 30 G
Find all three helmets in the campaign.
The first helmet is really easy. It's the Master Chief helmet from Halo. The game points you right to it and mocks Halo, so it shouldn't be missed. The second helmet is Isaac's helmet from Dead Space. In the Hive, once you find a glow bug and feed it to the door, then pass through a second sphincter door, crouch and go to your left. There should be a corpse with a weapon. If you find it right, Duke should say "That's one dead space marine." The third helmet is a Borderlands helmet. In the underwater section, on one of the air pipes, you should see a broken tower. To the left of it is a triangular bit of light with a body floating in it. Swim to it, then left and down, into a small air pocket. The helmet is in this air pocket. For a video description of where to go, watch this.
Call Waiting - 25 G
Listen to all phone messages.
There are 14 messages in the game. One in Duke Lives, one in Duke Dome, four in the strip club, one in Duke Burger, two in the Mighty Foot Part 2, one in the Shrunk Machine, one in the generator room, two in The Clarifier, and one in The Clarifier Part two. Those are all mission names, by the way.
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The Final Achievements
The last of the achievements are mostly for killing bosses, but there are a few that slipped through the cracks to end up here.
Party Animal - 10 G
Drink all the beers in the strip club.
There are 9 beers in the club. The code for the locked door is 4768.
Pescaphone - 10 G
Kill all the catfish in the underwater section.
There are 15 catfish in the level. Be aware that if you die after killing one you may have to kill it again. Use this video to get them all.
Sunday, Black Sunday - 5 G
Shoot down the blimp circling the stadium.
The blimp is in the pre-game tutorial level while fighting the boss.
Nobody likes a Whiner - 5 G
Knock out the talent at the talk show.
He's the guy in the back spouting the famous Christian Bale rant. Just pop him when given the chance, you'll want to anyway.
Lots of Whacking - 25 G
Win a game of alien abortion in the strip club.
It's basically whack a mole. It's also really easy. Don't bother aiming, just move your whole body side to side to position your cursor.
Companion Barrel - 10 G
Unlock the secret closet at the end of the fork stop.
Once you turn on the power, after the fight, get to the second floor. You'll find a barrel with a heart on it. Grab it and continue to the end of the level, where there's a closet with a heart on the floor. Drop the barrel there and it'll unlock.
One Eyed Freak, Pit Champion, Not Bad for a Human, A Good Dam Fight, Octacide, Beating the One Eyed Worm - 10/25/40/25/25/35 G
Defeat the bosses. In order: Cycloid in the tutorial, Las Vegas Battlelord, Alien Queen, Hoover Dam Battlelord, Octaking, Energy Leech
You'll get all of these just by playing the game. Each boss has their own strategy, and half the fun is figuring it out.
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Duke's Ego Cap Rewards
For the most valuable achievement in the game you need to find every ego reward. Here's a list of things to check off. Keep in mind that many of them can be found multiple places in the game. Some aren't, though, so always keep an eye out. Hopefully you at least had fun with Duke Nukem Forever.
Admire yourself in a mirror. There are plenty of mirrors throughout the game so you have a lot of chances.
Pee in a toilet. Again, there are a ton of toilets around.
Play pool and sink all the balls. Make sure you actually play the game through, otherwise you won't get it.
Microwave something (popcorn or a rat). Both the popcorn bags lying around or the rat in the lower cupboard work. They aren't two different rewards though.
Give the kid an autograph. This one is missable, as there's only the one kid.
Curl a dumbbell. These show up in several places.
Add all weights to the bar and bench them. Duke will complain to you if they're uneven, and if you don't have enough weight you won't get the achievement.
Use the punching bag. That's the big vertical bag for people who don't know.
Use the speed bag. That's the hanging one at head height, by the way.
Throw a basketball into the hoop. It can be tricky, but if you just concentrate you can manage it.
Beat the high score (around 300K) in pinball. You may as well continue to 1 million points for the achievement.
Win at slots. This is pure luck and will take a while to manage.
Defeat the Vegas Battlelord. Boss fight action at it's finest. Spam it with rockets!
Photocopy your butt. There are copiers all over the place, so you have several chances.
Slap the silicone wall breasts in the hive. There are several of them around, just keep an eye out. They're large and hard to miss.
Kill the alien queen. Bounce some explosives on the trampoline things to get her out of her shield. Beware of her backup!
Use the glory hole. This one probably doesn't need an explanation. Just check stalls in the strip club until you find it.
Tip the stripper. She's on the runway in Duke's strip club.
Play the porno in the office. Again, Duke has the nicest toys in his club. Just play the tape.
Win a hand of poker on the machine. So many minigames to win, so little time to win them. Just kidding, there's no time limit.
Win alien abortion. It's easy to win, don't try too hard or you might psyche yourself out.
Win air hockey. It's easy to win, it's hard to go 7-0 for the achievement. The controls are not very good.
Throw a frisbee. Keep an eye out for it after you're done with the strip club.
Smoke a cigar. Duke just wouldn't be the same without his trusty cigar.
View a porn mag in the Duke Burger. There are three porn mags in the game, so make sure you get them all.
Use binoculars. Keep an eye out for them and see what you can see.
Set porn on the computer screen. There are a bunch of computers all around the game, just make sure you don't break them first.
View the porn mag in the ghost town church. It's under a pew. Of course the ghost town residents aren't pure people.
Kill the Hoover Dam Battlelord. Another wonderful reused boss battle. To defeat the Battlelord, shoot it until it dies!
Throw a paper plane. There's one you can toss off the Hoover Dam, and it's kind of impressive.
Flip through a calendar. There are a few in the game, and they only have a few pictures.
View the porn mag in the fork stop. Third and final of the porn mags sitting around.
Kill the Octoking. He's annoying because of his backup and his high damage attacks. Just use some beer.
Kill the Energy Leech. Then decide never to come back to the underwater level again. Ever.
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Closing and Credits
So there you have it, a list of every achievement it's possible to earn in Duke Nukem Forever. Feel free to use this guide to get every bit of gamerscore it's possible to get from the game. If you like it, share it on Facebook, Twitter, or any other media outlet. Comment if you need help or if something seems wrong. We always like to hear from you.